September 16, 2006 started as a beautiful Saturday morning at Mitchell Park in Palo Alto, with the sun shining and the warm air surrounding all involved. We couldn't have asked for better weather. By the time the day arrived, over 100 people had pre-registered to participate in Kara's 1st "At Your Own Pace" Walk, aptly named after Kara's mantra: Everyone grieves "at their own pace." When the Board and Staff at Kara decided to host a Walk for individuals to participate in memory of their loved ones, we had two goals in mind: to offer a unique chance to honor loved ones; and to give people the opportunity of fundraising on behalf of Kara by acquiring sponsors for themselves as walk participants. We weren't sure how people would respond. We didn't know exactly how to run such an event, but we all agreed we certainly wouldn't know anything unless we tried. We are so glad we did.

As our walkers began to arrive, we were struck immediately by how important this event was to them. A number of families had shirts made just for this event; shirts with pictures and names of loved ones printed on them. Volunteer Sara Jane Carter, a sixteen year-old who lost her sister, was touched by what she witnessed, "People had t-shirts and necklaces and things to remember; it was really good to see that they were paying their respect and they were honoring the people that they lost."

As people checked in and enjoyed donated coffee-cake from Hobee's and coffee from Starbucks, some were very social and introduced themselves to other participants, sharing their memories of their loved ones. Others, whose grief was very raw, opted to stay close to their own family members, quietly preparing to walk in honor of those they lost.

As we neared the 10:00 o'clock hour, the start time of the walk, Jim Mulvaney, Director of Kara's Adult Services, welcomed everyone and shared that he was walking in memory of his late wife, her picture hung around his neck. He invited everyone to ask him about her, reminding us all that too often we long to talk about our memories but don't find ourselves in situations where it's welcomed or understood. He also acknowledged the fact that some of us might prefer to walk in silence and for those individuals, a green sticker was available to put on their nametags to indicate a preference for silence. Jim ended with these words:

"Today we may all hear and see tears, laughter, music, even noise, and silence, representing some of the many facets of mourning and remembering. In our 30 years of service at Kara, we have seen that each person has a way of healing that is right for him or her as an individual. Let us honor and respect the differences in our way of mourning as well as the similarities. We each mourn at our own pace, just as we each walk at our own pace. May your walk be rich with the spirit of those we remember today."

As the music began, indicating the start of the three-mile walk, many people were moved to tears, holding hands and embracing those that had come to share this journey with them. I personally was struck by the image of the large group moving together, clearly with much sadness but also with so much courage and compassion - compassion for themselves and for each other.

The walk provided participants the opportunity to truly honor those they had lost, which was the first time for many. As Lana Greco recognized, "I was walking for my son Ryan. I have done quite a few walks before… Kara's walk was the first opportunity to do something for my son. He died in an accident and there are other walks for Cancer, but I always wanted to be able to do that and the whole family was involved. I walked with my sisters, my mom and my other three boys and my nephews. It was great. It was emotional. We all had the same feeling; it was great to spend a few hours specifically for Ryan."

For others, it offered the opportunity to give back to Kara. Charlotte Scott, walking in memory of her sister, explained that her motivation for participating was, "The desire to give back to Kara, recognizing that as much as I wanted to be a counselor, I didn't have that much time to give. Kara really got me through and I really wanted to support them. They completely saved my life after my sister died. They were fantastic."

Kara's stellar fundraiser, Kristin Kennedy, had this to say about the experience, "It meant a lot as far as being able to do it for my dad and also to benefit Kara. It was an enlightening event… touching, overwhelming - it was different emotions at different times throughout the day." Kristin raised over $2,500 through donations supporting her participation. "I think my fundraising success was a testament to how much people respected my Dad, as a father and a friend."

Immediately following the walk, there was a picnic for participants, family and friends to come together, finding community and comfort. Sara Jane Carter particularly enjoyed this part of the day, "I think at the picnic everyone had a good time and found community. One lady that my mom and I talked to at the picnic was walking alone and met up with others that were also walking alone and they formed a group. She said it was really nice to meet and discuss their losses. She was really glad to participate for her husband and for Kara. At the picnic I met more people and it was a really good experience. I will definitely participate again because it was a lot of fun."

Kara's first annual At Your Own Pace Walk clearly brought comfort and healing to many. Most of all, it offered an opportunity for anyone to truly honor their loved ones and do something special just for them. As Lana Greco put it, "I just pretty much spend my week at sporting events for the other boys so to be able to spend a Saturday for Ryan means the world to me. When you lose a child you don't have the opportunity to do for them what you would like. You can keep up the burial site but to do something to truly honor him and especially for his little brothers that have never met him, it just meant so much." -end-

Information about our upcoming 2008 Walk on October 4th

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457 Kingsley Ave
Palo Alto, CA 94301
650-321-5272

Office hours are M-F, 9AM to 4PM Pacific time.
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Kara is the Gothic root of the word "care."
It means to reach out, to care, to lament, to grieve with.